10 Things I Learnt After Having a Baby: Honest Postpartum Advice

I’ve been doing this whole parenting thing for a whole 18 months now, and I have learnt A LOT in that time. As you may know I am currently pregnant with my second, and I feel much more prepared this time around. Which is mainly because I’ve done it before, as I really don’t think anything can prepare you.

If you are a new mum looking for some honest postpartum advice, here is exactly what I wish someone had told me before I started.

This is 10 Things I Learnt After Having a Baby.

Things Will Be Different

When I was pregnant I remember thinking that I won’t change. I’ll still be me, I’ll just be me with a baby; what’s the big deal? Boy… was I wrong. It turns out that change doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Parenting made me learn a lot about myself and realise traits that I have, that I don’t want to pass on. Which means that I’ve had to make changes, as I know that they’re going to learn from watching me. So I know that I’m not the same person I was before becoming a mum, but I much prefer this version. Even though I’m still a work in progress.

EVERYTHING is a Phase

Literally everything. When Noah was a newborn he woke up for a feed every two hours, and I remember thinking that I’d never sleep again. Fast forward to now and he sleeps 7-7, so even though it’s hard at the time just remember that everything is temporary. This moment will pass, and you’ll look back wondering how you did it.

You Don’t Need ALL of the Gadgets

I swear there is a baby gadget for everything nowadays. It is very easy to end up in a situation where you’ve dropped a fortune before baby is even here. We decided to buy the basics and look into gadgets that would benefit us. I am so glad that we did, or we would’ve ended up with a lot of things we didn’t need. As it is so easy to get sucked into buying everything you see on Instagram.

Boundaries with Visitors are a Must

Childbirth is a big thing, and you really don’t know how you’ll feel afterwards. The last thing you want is to be entertaining guests, or have people wanting to play pass the parcel with baby when you’d rather keep hold yourself. There is no right or wrong, it’s personal preference, just be sure to let everyone know beforehand so there are no surprises. That way you’ll also discover who respects you and who doesn’t.

There’s No Rush

You have nothing to prove, so go at your own pace and enjoy it. I remember seeing other mums with newborns getting out straight away and I was upset that I couldn’t do that. I had a c-section, so my recovery was longer. It also meant that I couldn’t drive for six weeks, and couldn’t walk very far. Which meant we stayed in a lot, but we made it out in the end. We went to baby groups, and now I’m glad that I took that time to recover properly rather than push myself and risk the recovery process.

Babies Cry and that’s Ok

This took me so long to come to terms with. Part of what made me so anxious to go out with Noah was because; what if he cried? Looking back now it feels so silly because so what if he cries? He’s a baby. Crying is his only way of communicating and his way of saying that he needs me. It’s not a bad thing and if people don’t have the patience for babies/ kids then that’s on them. As let’s be real nobody wants the child to stop crying more than the parent.

There is No Right Way

There are a million different ways to parent. In fact it’s hard to find two people who do everything exactly the same, which means everybody has different thoughts and opinions. It can feel overwhelming when you start to hear the horror stories and the advice starts rolling in. I found that listening to everybody and then discarding what I personally didn’t find useful. You know your baby, so don’t feel pressured to follow the crowd.

Don’t Forget About Yourself

Having a baby is time consuming. All of a sudden all of your free time has disappeared, and you’re left with half an hour to; shower, cook, clean and have a rest. It’s a lot. However I found the more I forgot about myself the slippier the slope into depression became. You are still important, and it’s important to fill your cup. So what if there are dishes on the side? So what if there’s washing to be done? If you need time then take it. You’ll never regret working on yourself.

Confidence Comes with Time and Experience

I remember being terrified to take Noah out by myself for the first time. Now it’s second nature, and I feel comfortable taking him out and going places. It was hard at first, but with time it slowly got easier and easier. I started with a weekly baby group, which lasted for half an hour. That then progressed to looking around shops and it slowly grew and grew. I’m glad that I pushed myself to do it, as it’s definitely what grew my confidence.

Slow Down

That first year goes by so quickly. It sounds cliche, as I know everybody mentions it, but you really don’t realise how quickly time goes by. Babies develop so much in a year, it’s almost scary. Sometimes I wish I slowed down and enjoyed moments for what they were. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely tough parts that I don’t miss so much, but sometimes it’s funny what you miss when it’s gone.

There we have it, that was 10 Things I Learnt After Having a Baby.

I’d love to hear your opinions!

Thank you for reading.